that last entry was a real downer… shit, brb.
okay took a shower totally groomed and everything. Went up stairs to find out my brother changed his computer password. I give up at school. IT IS FUCKING OBVIOUS BY NOW THAT I SHOULD JUST GIVE UP AT SCHOOL AND LIFE AND FRIENDS. I’M CONTEMPLATING THE WHOLE SLEEPING PILL THING. THERE’S NOTHING REALLY KEEPING ME ALIVE. HELL IT WOULD HELP EVERYONE IF I DIED. NO MORE SUPPORTING MY COMPLETELY WORTHLESS SELF. I hate hate hate myself and I’m too ashamed to go upstairs for the pills. I’m just sitting in my room with the blinds closed and the fan on. If you knew me you would go over and open the blinds because I hate the dark. but no-one is here. This is a cry for help. No one will hear it but I’ve been screaming since middle school. I’ve been screaming I hate this place, this school, these people, myself, most of all myself. I loathe me, why don’t I fight back? I give up. If I don’t get the guts to take the pills I’ll just stop eating because at least then I’ll be skinny. I’m back where I started no friends, asshole family, stranded nowhere.
I HATE THIS, I ALWAYS HAVE, ALWAYS WILL.
fuck.
I don’t know what to do.
